Abnormal

I can't ever just be fucking normal.
If I could, i would have.
I knew that I should have.
I tried to be yours, but I
Know that I'm no one.
I wish I could throw up.
Now I'm shattering this mirror.
Oh, I'm only brave.
There's a churning in my gut.
I'm still spinning,
Homesick inside of the earth.
There are grounds that I'll
Push and cane and kicking gravel,
Kicking rocks that pop back.
And I fall over, I trip,
I slip and then I break a sweat.
When will I feel better?
Am I meant to be alone?
Every day I wake up
Feels like I've been under anesthesia.
Like I don't know
Where I went what time.
Got it like a crime,
I'm trying.
Heavenly, my ears, the signal.
As the dreams, I spiral,
Strip the light.
It scrapes my blood.
I try to stay all positive but I
Know I'm reliving days.
It all changes but stay the same.
It flashed before my eyes.
Even when I scream in pain.
I can't be fucking normal.
If I could, i would have.
I knew that I should have.
I tried to be yours, but I
Know that I'm no one.
I wish I could throw up now.
I can't just be fucking normal.
If I could, I
Would have.
I knew that I should have.
I tried to be yours, but I
Know that I'm no one.
I wish I could throw up now.
I'm shattering this mirror.
I can't receive myself.
I know I know I am.
May I figure out the riddle?
Though I'll make up when it's said.
May I be my witness ever.
I could lie and turn this over.
May you never have to run.
May you never have to cry.
Just be fucking normal.
If I could, I would
Have.
I wish I could throw up now.
I'm shattering this mirror